I know I've been absent....

     But I have a perfectly good explanation! Lately, someone has released some startling (false) information to my parents saying that I posted, in this very blog, that they didn't love me anymore and that the only person who has ever loved me was Tim. It's caused me a great deal of grief over the past couple of days, seeing as how I've had to sort all of this mess out.

     I don't know who it was, or why they'd make something like this up, but it has happened. The biggest problem is that a ton of people that I know read my blog (that aren't necessarily followers) and i live in a small community. Go figure.

     Anyways, just to make things clear... I love my family very much, and they love me back just as much, if not even more. I'm not depressed about anything. I'm not turning "weird". I'm happy with my life right now.

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     As for the Lady Gaga theme, I have to say I'm ending it a bit early. I think I've overdone it... listening to her in the car everywhere we go, quoting her in the middle of the supermarket, breaking out in random song walking down the street in public... Yes, I'm quite devoted.

     BUT, I went to turn the MP3 on the other day and Gaga came up. Tim exclaimed, "Oh lord, not this again!" Now, he was obviously joking.... but behind every joke is a hint of truth. So I've decided to cool down my inner Gaga for a while....

My biggest concern

     Tim broke his tooth today, and we have absolutely NO proper medication locally. We have to wait until tomorrow morning to schedule an appointment, so I went straight up to work and told them they'd have to find a replacement. Tim comes first before work or anything else.

     In other news, I've FINALLY gotten all of my college information in and received my schedule! I'm so excited, I could almost burst... except for the fact that Tim's hurt. I know it's not my fault, but I feel so helpless. I suppose there's nothing more I can do.

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     Any-who, onto the Gaga-ness. Today, before Tim's tooth broke, we were eating at Pizza hut and I overheard the girls in the next booth talking about us. They weren't rude or anything, they were actually quite giggly. That started off a conversation...

"I wonder why girls think gay guys are so hot." I wondered aloud.

"I think it's because of the challenge." Tim replied. "Some girls think that they can change us."


     I thought that was a very interesting concept, partially because I understand it. Tim told me that he prefers "straight-acting" guys as to the feminine types, and I'd have to say I agree. I've never understood why, but I've ALWAYS crushed on the straight boys, almost to the point of infatuation (that is before Tim came along). It makes total sense that I would like them, because of the challenge. I knew good and well that these boy liked girls, yet I still pursued them.


     Well, being in Gaga-mode, I also thought of her newest video... "Alejandro": (sorry about the size, I can't make it fit...)

    


     Now this video definitely shocked me when I saw it... But Gaga's original intention, when writing the song, was to describe the wonderful relationship between her and her gay friends that she so longed for in a romantic relationship.  She explained it is about the "purity of my friendships with my gay friends, and how I've been unable to find that with a straight man in my life. It's a celebration and an admiration of gay love - it confesses my envy of the courage and bravery they require to be together. In the video I'm pining for the love of my gay friends - but they just don't want me."

     Although, I can see that, the video covers MUCH more ground than explained, the topics ranging anywhere from "Don't ask. Don't tell." to sex addiction. It's all about how much you know. Nevertheless, I love her. She is a great artist who's vision is inspiring.

In honor of the Mama Monster

    Tonight I was listening to some music by Gaga, and you know what... I finally had an "Aha" moment! Before reading any further into the post, stop the Playlist at the side bar and watch this clip...

     This song is Dance in the Dark. The message was cleverly hidden behind the bass and synth that, originally, was the reason I listened to it. So, what exactly is this song about? Well actually, it's strange how I should know at this moment. The song is about a girl who prefers to have sex with the lights off, because she's ashamed of her body image. She is only able to release her inhibitions in the dark.

     Gaga said herself that the song is meant to tell people that it is entirely normal to feel this way. She says that even she feels insecure about her image sometimes.

So... Gaga. I have to say, that I was touched by this song when I heard it driving home tonight. In a weird way I felt reassured about my own self-image, which I've been struggling with lately. So I've decided that I want to do a week's worth of posts devoted to Gaga. So be prepared... it's coming

I'm EXTREMELY Disapointed...

Okay, just as a forewarning, this is a rant-post. So... let's get this started, shall we?

     So what, exactly, am I disappointed at now? The Gay community, that's what. I can't help it, and after you read through the entire post, you'll understand why.

     It all began last night when I was blog surfing to try to find some more people to follow. I actually had an aim. I wanted to meet other every-day gay guys so that I could mingle. Don't get me wrong girls, you all are FANTASTIC company... but I need some testosterone. I have very few guy friends, and I've made it a goal to find some... specifically gay guy friends. I want to have someone from my own background that I can share my everyday experiences with (and Tim doesn't count.)

     So, having absolutely NO luck with the "next blog" button, I went to Google and typed in: gay personal blogs. And here are the people I found...

1) Mr. Sex Appeal
2) The Raging Inferno
3) The Marketeer

     I have a little something to say to each and every one of you guys...
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 Mr. Sex Appeal

     You get blasted, simply because your were at the top of the search results, mister. I am extremely disappointed in the way that you make blogs simply to show gay adult material. This doesn't add ANY good to the already preconceived notion that gays are just sexually promiscuous horn-dogs. You are one of the causes for a very noted, very nasty stereotype.
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The Raging Inferno

     Yes Inferno, sir, you have even been blacklisted. I understand that you are proud of who you are. I get that. But must you flaunt it? Must you harp the SAME message to everyone you meet? I'm so tired of hearing the "loud and proud". Can we not just have mild-voiced and content? Perhaps your blogs are encouraging to some, but you do absolutely nothing for me, or the stereotype that all gays are overly-expressive and obnoxious with their... out-ness... if that's even a word...

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The Marketeer

      I suppose I get why you exist. You are here to make money.. and that makes me dislike you automatically. You clutter the blog-world with sites that are dedicated to certain demographics and most of the time you do it in the most boring ways possible. Furthermore, I am offended that you think that ALL gay people are interested in the same products. Not all of us wear v-necks and work in salons (no offense to those who do). Some of us would rather shop for camping materials and everyday household appliances. To suggest hat a product is gay is offensive to me. Plus, I'm tired of accidentally running into blog/infomercials.

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     I suppose my biggest letdown was that, I searched and searched for normal, every-day gay bloggers but found not one. I just wish I could meet someone that hasn't let being gay become the biggest factor in their life, you know what I mean? It's rather aggravating.

So it's hit again...

I have the overwhelming urge to look like this...

     When, sadly, I'm not even close. But wait, there's still a thread of hope. Despite my lack of motivation, I have a way so that I may be able to get close to this... it's called.... creatine. (large, bold font is a tip of the hat to Freckle on the Nose...)

     Now, I don't know much about this supplement, except for the fact that it causes your muscles to soak up water, and become stronger. It supposedly aides muscle growth. I've heard downsides to this too. I've heard it can cause Muscle cramps, Nausea, Diarrhea, Stomach cramps, Loss of appetite, Weight gain, Gas and bloating,  and Dizziness or weakness. But hey, call me crazy, but I'm willing to risk it. after all, they say the side effects, if there are any, will diminish after your body becomes used to it.

     And exactly WHY have I never heard of this before!? Apparently, it's a very common thing for athletes to mix the creatine with water. Am I really that sheltered, or is it considered taboo? I don't know and I intend to find out!

Sigh...

     Well I started off this post writing "I wish I had something to write about..." but I think I've learned my lesson about wishing stuff like that... However, the thought remains. There has been NOTHING going on here. I work, sleep, eat, repeat.

     Wow, I JUST had a great idea! I think I'm gonna start back writing my book. I haven't given up on it... I've just gotten busy. I'm sure I could spare an hour or two to start writing again.. and you guys could serve as my inspiration!

     *scurries off to start writing*

Andrew

     Well today Tim and I went to meet this guy that I've been Instant Messaging over the web. His name is Andrew, and he's been a really great friend to talk to.

     So, I'm just going to jump ahead and say that the trip took a turn for the worst, and I'm trying to block that part out. So I'm going to summarize the day as shortly as possible, and then spare you on the rough details...

     This is Andrew and his best friend Rachael (I didn't get a picture of the other accompaniment (his cousin, Sharah)

     Anyways, we had fun today.. until we ran into one of Andrew's old acquaintances. This acquaintance had a bunch of friends, who, later on in the evening, follwed us through the store, harassed us, and tried to pick a fight with Tim (who has a dangerously short fuse, by the way.)

      I was so proud of my Tim for not retaliating. It really shows me how much he loves me. I could see the anger in his eyes, his lips quivering, and his body fully flared out. He was in hunter mode, and it took a lot of strength for him to overcome that, I know.

     Other than that, though, we all had a good time.

4 Months!

It's official... as of yesterday Tim and I have been dating for four months!

To celebrate the event, Tim cooked us dinner ( a recipe that he came up with in a dream the night before). ere are some pictures...

...and of course poochie shared the love too!

Poochie gives a kiss from Kent Jones on Vimeo.

Be careful what you wish for....

     Okay, so I know that is like the most cliched and dry advise that anyone should give, but I've yet again been reminded of how wise it actually is. You see, lately my life has been pretty boring. Nothing has really happened and I haven't had much to post about. I've been wishing for SOMETHING to post about... and finally my wish came true.

     As you can guess, this post isn't going to be about something positive. Instead, I'm going to tell you how my life is TORTURED by my bad luck with automobiles.

     A couple of months back, I had a blow-out. Well when I went to get a replacement (so that I could get off of my spare) I found out that I'd have to order a new tire. You know why? My tire is a size 14 which, unbeknownst by me, is an outmoded tire size. That also makes the tire more expensive than other tires....

     So I decided to duke it out for a while, until I had the time and money to invest in the truck. Well my time is  up. Sure enough, the spare blew on me just this evening. So here I am, with out any means of transportation for however long it takes to find a 14" tire.

    The worst thing is, this happened right before Tim and I got to do our romantic dinner. So those plans are out the window. So I got two lessons out of this; Don't procrastinate, and Be careful what you wish for... because it might just come true.

My latest craze

     Okay, so as you guys know, there was a large gap between my previous posts, and I figure that it's time for me to explain why. During all that time I was busy with Tim and our miniature adventures. However, that was only a contributing factor. The main reason is, I've been going through a weird health crisis. I'm REALLY unsatisfied with my body.

     Now before you go and roll your eyes, I'll explain that I'm very comfortable with my weight (a boastful 170 lbs). The problem is that I have no muscle. This was revealed to me while I was cashiering at work and tried to lift a large bag of kitty litter, something that I would have been able to do without a problem about a year ago. Needless to say, I failed. It took two tries before I could pick the damn thing up and slide it across the register.




    So what have I been doing? Wearing myself ragged with workouts, that's what. I'm not the type of person that sits by idly when there is a problem. However, those said workouts have caused  my sleep schedule to shift and my body to become sore, therefore making my life very difficult.

  
     And the fact that I saw this magazine cover tonight at work isn't reassuring. I just realized how jealous of Kellan Lutz I am. Grrrrrr.

     Does anyone realize how much work would have to go into a body like that!? I don't have the time or money, and certainly not the determination... YET I WANT IT SO BAD!

...Anyways, I'm off work for the next four days... maybe I can use that time to boost my enthusiasm, like I did a long time ago...

A Special Thanx

     So, I went to log onto blogger today to find that I've been nominated for the coveted "The Versatile Blogger" award. So here, I proudly sport my badge of honor.

     I guess a proper acceptance speech is in order. Ahem. I'd like to thank my wonderful boyfriend, to whom this blog is dedicated to, for giving me the inspiration to face every day's troubles. I love you babe. Secondly, A SPECIAL thanks to Freckleonthenose at Freckle on the Nose of Life's Complexion for nominating me for this very special award and for being so amazingly entertaining and crafty. Also, let's not forget those poor souls who have, for whatever reason, decided to follow my blog. I thank ye very much. In closing, Poochie and I accept this award!


As custom dictates, I am now supposed to tell you seven eccentricities that make up my personality. So here goes nothing...

1.) I have a very odd attraction to glassware. Almost to the point where it is a sick obsession. In fact, when I'm feeling down and out, I know it's time to hit the local flea market for some old glass bottles. What you see below isn't even a quarter of my collection... which is sort of sad, I know...

2) I am a reincarnated Egyptian Prince. How do I know that? Well it's simple.  I read the hieroglyphs, I'm fluent in the knowledge of their mythologies, and I've been able to "walk like an Egyptian" since I was like, four. So there you have it... Egyptian Prince.

3) I read Tarot and palms.. sort of. I'm still mastering the art, but I'm slowly getting it down pat. But I've got the astrology part under my belt! ;)

4) I am the typical right-brained personality. What is not-so-typical is that I can do everything that involves that side of the brain exceptionally well. Now, don't think I'm cocky, but I can definitely tell when I do something good. I am a singer, dancer, artist, musician, writer, and photographer. I strive to be good at everything I do (part of the Virgo in me). And yes, those pics below are the latest samples of my photography. (both I am VERY proud of!)

5) I absolutely MELT at the sound of  classic swing/blues singers (in case you haven't got your speakers turned up, or have stopped the playlist.). I love Lady Gaga, but you've just got to respect Billy Holiday and the Andrews Sisters for starting it all! And yes, I know that music is far beyond my time, but I think that's why I love it!

6) Miley Cyrus gets under my skin and annoys the crap out of me. Have you heard her laugh? I just want to shove a pillow down her throat every time she does it. ugh.

7) I'm a Twi-hard fan... That's right. Every time Taylor Lautner comes onscreen shirtless, listen for me. I'll be that one guy in the theater screaming for him! ;)

     Phew... I'm glad that's over. All that talking about myself has left me feeling a bit narcissistic. ;)

So, without further ado, I pass this award onto the following lucky blogs:

1) Musings From a Writer
2) Always Musing
3) Scarbrough Spills
4) Sarah's Blog
5) Yama's Blog

wear the title well, fellow bloggers. You've earned it!
   

catchup!

sorry to stop my posting ['cause I KNOW you are so disappointed ;)] but I've been really busy lately. (still am) so bare with me for a little bit. More details later!

Day 3 of Vacation

     Tim and I did NOTHING today! It wasn't as bad as I make it sound, we got plenty of rest and spent a lot of quality time together, but sadly that is ALL we did. The only reason I'm even bothering to post this is because the sequential order of blog posts. Well, that and the fact that I'm up at 2:05 a.m.