My big gay year!!

     Okay, so I know how I said earlier how much I HATE it when flamers boast their homosexuality, but I have a perfectly good reason for it! Today marks the day that I told my parents that I was gay. It's actually kind of strange to see how much has changed (and there is no doubt that when the news was out to everyone, things DID change). It has truly been an eye-opening experience and I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

     So, given your lack of knowledge and your deadlocked attention span, I'm sure you've got several questions. Why did I tell them? How did it happen? What was the initial outcome? Well, lucky for you, I'm in the very mood to tell the story.

     Months before, i had tried to date this girl named Brittany. From the very moment I met her, I felt a type of comradeship between us, and I was already giving up on finding a girlfriend. At that time, everything was very simple... but only because I fooled myself into thinking it was. I'd lied to myself saying that I was not gay and that I was just attracted guys because it was "against the rules" I just hadn't found the right girl yet.  My father was (and still is) a preacher, and my mom was/is the typical preacher's wife, so even the mere thought of being gay was ridiculous.

     Brittany was the most amazing girl. So intriguing and beautiful. It seemed like a miracle. My long prayers had been answered and I had found the perfect girl.... except for one thing... I was not at all interested in her, physically. No matter how hard I would try, I just could never see myself becoming intimate with her. Needless to say, we ended up being great friends and she was the first person I told.

     I was so surprised by how accepting she was, after all, I'd always been taught how evil and disgusting homosexuals were... I'd never even considered I'd be one... much less be liked in spite of it. But there it was. You know, I'd had several best friends before her, great friends too. But something about not having that secret between us felt new and wonderful. This was the first friends that I could be open with. The first friend that I could truly discover myself with.

     Then I realized how many lies I'd had to tell myself and other people to cover up the truth... I hated it. So, one night after spending hours wrestling with conscience and logic I made a decision. I wrote a letter to my parents explaining everything that I'd recently discovered about myself. They would not be able to interrupt me or get upset if they were reading the letter, so I gave it to my mom before I left for school that day.

     While at school, I remember my stomach churned. I remember feeling like this was the last time I may feel peace between my parents and me. So, when I came home, both parents set me aside and had a long drawn out discussion about how they didn't understand this. They thought I was making a decision. (I'm not sure if they still believe that or not.)

     Eventually, through mutual decision, I moved out of my parent's house and started dating. After several adventures I met Tim and I've been happy ever since.

     Now, there are SEVERAL things I left out, but the basics remain the same. I could account for the tears and restless nights it brought. Sure, there were some tough times, but it was all worth it and now I'm living a dream that I would've never even imagined living before.